Mississippi Native: Amanda Furdge

"i do feel a sense of duty to this place because it is home for me. i know too much to not handle this place with a certain level of care. nobody can take care of your home the way you do."

What does it mean to call Mississippi home? Why do people choose to leave or live in this weird, wonderful, and sometimes infuriating place? Today we hear from organizer, revolutionary, and cultural worker Amanda Furdge.

Featured contributor Amanda Furdge, who lives in Jackson. Photo by Ariel Cobbert for NBC News.

Where are you from?

the answer for “where i am from” is such a beautifully nuanced one, because although i was born in a hospital in South Jackson, Mississippi, i was also raised in the Mississippi Delta between Yazoo City and Clarksdale, Mississippi, with my grandparents. i came to live in Jackson so that my siblings and i could attend Jackson Public Schools and be with our parents. that makes me from North Jackson. Brown Bottom is the neighborhood’s name.

Why did you leave Mississippi? Where did you go?

i left Mississippi in the summer of 2006 after graduating from Lanier High School and joined the US Navy. i joined the Navy because it was a surefire way to escape my circumstances and still maintain the structure and discipline that i had come to know would serve me best. neither of my parents had completed college beyond a year and we grew up on the southern Black Mississippi side of economics (that’s a fancy way of saying we were living in poverty (relatively speaking) so there was no blueprint for going the college route and to be honest, i didn’t want to be tied to the traumas that had raised me to that point.

i wanted to see the world i read about in books and saw on TV. i wanted to meet the type of people i knew existed outside of the ones i was born to. i left Mississippi because i wanted to get away!

i went to the Naval Station Great Lakes and figured out how to be honorably discharged so that i could get to Chicago where my favorite uncle and cousins lived on the north side around Loyola University. i have also lived in Houston, Texas, and Detroit, Michigan.

Why did you return to Mississippi?

when i was discharged (honorably of course), i had to come back to Mississippi to recalibrate. it was the only home i had established at that point in my life. i knew i wouldn’t be staying for long, though. (but) at that point, i was becoming aware of what it would take to really live away.

i came home to Mississippi in the fall of 2006, “pretended” to be a student at Hinds Community College in Raymond, where i lived on campus long enough to learn the intricacies of “independent” living and get a check that i immediately used to buy a one-way plane ticket back to Chicago because from the first moment my feet hit a south side sidewalk, i felt like i was supposed to be there.

i had also met a tap dancer on Myspace during that time period who i had fallen in love with (and eventually married) and he lived in Chicago too! that time, i was gone until i returned in January of 2014 with my oldest son Titan, escaping the abusive relationship with his dad, and wanting Titan to have most of the same sweet southern things of my own childhood, like being raised with his grandparents and other immediate family members, getting bit by mosquitos on hot summer nights when you just don’t want to and don’t have to go inside because it’s safe, and eating soul food on a regular basis.

The author with her siblings Matthew Furdge and Laura Furdge

i did not plan to stay. i planned to move back to Chicago once Titan reached the age for kindergarten but sometime after we came back, i found out that i found out that i was pregnant with my next son, Mega. at the time, i thought my best course of action was to terminate that pregnancy. not being fully aware of my sense of place, and because (of) God’s plan, i wasn’t able to. i knew at that point that we would be in Mississippi another five years at the minimum, yet still i did not plan to stay!

i ended up so furious and fascinated by all of the challenges of trying to live and make what i thought was a temporary home here, that i picked back up the organizing and activist work that was already instilled in me in order to better our circumstances.

everybody knows that you fall in love with the people and the land when you’re working with and for it. 

Was the Mississippi you returned to the same one you had left?

it’s not so cut and dry that i can say that the Mississippi i left was the same one i returned to, because before i left i was only seeing Mississippi from the limited perspective of a kid who was trying to escape personal trauma.

i grew up in the bubble of the old school southern Black church where the preachers shouted and the mothers of the church wore white (that hadn’t changed), and in a three bedroom house that served five to eight adults and who knows how many children (that hadn’t changed). all of the same news anchors were reporting the news, E&L was still the place to go for BBQ and we were still frying catfish on Fridays.

a certain type of culture raised me. what had changed though was my understanding of race, politics, economics, systems and humanity and in that sense, things had changed, were changing and they still are. 

What does “home” mean to you? How does Mississippi fit into that definition?

to me, “home” means love. home means no matter what, you belong to and in this space. home means that God will make a way and that my destiny is wrapped up in this destination. Mississippi is all of that and way too much more to and for me.

home is a feeling i have. this soil is in the scars on my skin. the stars that sit in the sky over the state of Mississippi are the same ones in my eyes when i see her people laughing, singing the Blues, and arguing at the state capitol and the same exact stars that people around the world have seen and do see in mine. Mississippi which to me is synonymous with home is my brand of faith. 

How have you cultivated community in Mississippi?

i don’t believe i have the power to cultivate community. i believe i submit to the culture and will of the people already placed where they are, in the way that they are (including the ones unborn but on the way) by the Highest power. all i can say i have done is lead and live with my style of love which is curious, compassionate, empathetic, healthy, and all-inclusive and be willing and warm enough that folks with capacity and tolerance find me and i just set out the metaphorical folding chair.

The author with her sons Seven, Titan, and Mega, and her parents.

Who are the people who have made you feel rooted here?

the folks who make me feel rooted here are the ones who came enslaved and lived as best as they could until they couldn’t. the folks who operated inside of that legacy willingly and unwillingly with a level of perseverance that made space for me to show up in the world the way that i do. the folks who prayed, marched, ate well and struggled too. the people who made me feel rooted here are my three sons who i have the most precious opportunity to teach them the “weather” of this place so that they can become their own lives’ farmers. the people who make me feel rooted here are all of God’s children cause we all family. of course, there’s my mama and my dad too. my siblings. my grands and my friends.

What’s weirdest question or assumption you’ve encountered about Mississippi (or about you as a Mississippian) by someone who’s never been here?

some things that have made me pause that folks who have never been to Mississippi have brought to me is the assumption around h o w s l o w l y p e o p l e t h i n k Mississippians not only talk but think. something else is the imagination that there are crosses burning on the front lawns of Black folks on a regular basis, that there are no tall buildings and that nobody around here wears shoes.  also, the assumption that i must be the meekest and mildest person in a room because i’m from Mississippi. i like that one though because i sure am and that IS why but not for the reasons it is being assumed.

The author standing between her favorite cousin Tish, and her mother, Billie.

How has living in Mississippi affected your identity and your life’s path?

Mississippi is my identity and my life path.

i understand Mississippi’s birth order and placement in the design of this nation architecturally as well as culturally, but also in a very spiritual way. i could make a million metaphors about Mississippi to articulate this better but i think that any story of any Joseph in the Bible would do. hint, in each of these stories, Mississippi is Joseph. read the whole Bible—it’s in there!

What is something that you’ve learned about Mississippi only by living here? In what ways has Mississippi lived up to your expectations?

it is only because of being born of and in Mississippi that i have the graciousness and high level of mental fortitude and perseverance that i do. the way i express this can only be explained by knowing where i am from.

i know that it is because of my relationship to the land here (in the physical sense and otherwise) that i am so sensitive to the issues of our planet earth. i know that it is because i am from Mississippi that i treat all people with the kindness, concern, and empathy that Jesus taught. i know that it is because of Mississippi that i can live off of $21.83 and a loaf of white bread for a week or two. the things that i have learned and continue to learn about myself are intricately intertwined with my sense of place.

i have only ever expected Mississippi to be Mississippi and do what Mississippi does and she never fails. it’s really a lifestyle of expecting the unexpected and not expecting anything really but being able to work with whatever you end up with.

Do you still think about moving away someday?

over the years, i have toyed with the idea of living away again. for a while i was certain that i wanted to die in South Africa on the Ivory Coast. Mississippi IS Africa though. then, there’s the part where i remember who i was and who i am and what i thought i needed as a young person. folks need different experiences so that they can make better informed decisions.

The author and her boys in front of her poem “Carbon Copies,” which was commissioned for the Collective Care Companion for Black Life, a project by Shani Peters, 2021 CAPE Artist in Residence.

Does a sense of duty keep you rooted here?  Do you have a “tipping point”?

now that i have my own children, i think deeply and intentionally about the ways that i can make sure that where we lives serves them back as much as we serve it.

i do feel a sense of duty to this place because it is home for me. i know too much to not handle this place with a certain level of care. nobody can take care of your home the way you do. i know exactly where to dust; i know where the floorboards will moan, and i know how to move around its kitchen. that’s another metaphor by the way! i submit that it’s not up to me where i was placed in the world in the grand scheme of things anyway! 

What do you wish the rest of the country understood about Mississippi?

i wish that the rest of the country understood that the rest of the country is Mississippi. the difference is that we IN Mississippi accept this fact and we live it beautifully. they don’t and they’re suffering for it. 

Do you have a favorite Mississippi writer, artist, or musician who you think everyone needs to know about? 

this question is loaded. i am rooting for all of the great creative folks in Mississippi who do no harm and create authentically with love as their bottom line. there is no way i could even begin to name and list the folks I think everyone needs to know about because to be completely honest, each and every somebody i could mention is someone everyone needs to know. i would have to take direct inquiries on this one! 

If you had one billion dollars to invest in Mississippi, how would you spend your money?

if i had one billion dollars to invest in Mississippi i would fully fund public school education, do whatever it takes to ensure equal pay for Black women, restore our rights to reproductive justice, fully fund the programs that provide child care certificates and vouchers, fix the city of Jackson’s water issues, restore the historic Farish Street District, reopen the closed rural hospitals…anything righteous to serve us ALL, i would try to hit all of the targets.

The author on stage reading her poetry. Photo by Terrence Wells for Wells Media.

What or who do you want to shamelessly promote? (It can absolutely be a project you’re working on, or something you are involved in.)

there’s an artist from the Southside of JXN named Coke Bumaye who i believe is gifted beyond measure. not only does he create and execute artistic vision at a high level, he also represents a special segment of beautiful Black men who have decided to be the change they want to see in this city and beyond. he just dropped his first full length studio album entitled Separation and its really something special. i have had it on repeat for weeks. lyrically he’s exceptional. i think the world should know someone like him not only exists, but has taken on the challenge of living out and through his divine purpose. what i appreciate most is that his truest boast is that he’s a father, a brother, and a fantastic friend to his loved ones. the album is available on all streaming platforms, and he is everywhere on the internet as Coke Bumaye.

i am working on my solo show. a one woman, ya dig? and oh! and i have a book on Amazon called From A Brown Paper Bag: A Collection of Thoughts, Stories & Ideas and an audio storybook called 30 AF on my Soundcloud.

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Amanda Furdge (Shelby) is a God fearing and God full Black Mississippian organizer, revolutionary, and cultural worker. At thirty-five years old, she is a leading figure in the universal Black Arts Movement and has written, published, and contributed to countless creative expressions of her own as well as many others across the globe. Amanda considers her most noteworthy accomplishments to be found within the eyes, smiles, ideas and attitudes of her three beloved sons Titan, Mega and Seven. Nothing is more valuable, liberating or empowering to Amanda than love.