I’m Raising My Children in One of the “Worst” Places in America

Kayleigh Skinner defends her choice to raise children in Jackson, Mississippi, a city ranked among the worst on a list of the "best places to raise children."

Editor’s note: This powerful essay by my mom-friend (and also friend-friend who I deeply admire) Kayleigh Skinner is the first in what I hope to be an upcoming series of Rooted issues exploring the complex, beautiful, and sometimes untenable nature of motherhood in Mississippi—from pregnancy and childbirth, to deciding where your kids will go to school, to parenting in a post-Roe red state, and more. If you, too, have thoughts about motherhood in Mississippi, let us know in the comments below. I envision this as being an ongoing conversation among people who care about Mississippi moms and kids. Thanks, as always, for being here. —Lauren

Photo by Shelly Pence on Unsplash

A friend recently sent me a piece the New York Times wrote about a new study that suggests the best and worst places in America to raise a family. I think you know where this is going. 

It uses “relevant data” (according to whom?) to score cities on how optimal of a location they are to raise children based on metrics like affordability, health and safety and “family fun.” The top ten include Seattle, San Diego, Fremont and other white, wealthy cities. The worst places, according to this study? Blacker, poorer cities including Detroit, Memphis and of course, Jackson. Six out of ten cities are in the South; two are in Mississippi.

I’m not going to debate the merit of a WalletHub study. What I take issue with is a national publication dog-whistling that people raising kids in any town in America is bad. Even worse is publishing a list like this without addressing the racial, financial and social barriers that keep people from getting there to begin with. Most of us can’t afford to live in Fremont, California (top of the list), where the household median income is more than double the national average. Many of us don’t want to. 

Gov. Tate Reeves once said “There's no better place to live, work, and raise a family than right here in Mississippi!” 

There’s the rub: As a young woman raising a family here, not a day goes by that I don’t waffle between pride at the life I’m creating for my children and existential guilt that maybe it’s not enough. Maybe I’ve made a mistake. In this city I have built community and can afford to own a home that would cost ten times as much if it were in San Jose, another city at the top of this list. But some things—important things—are out of my control, and it weighs on me. 

Despite the governor’s words, this place is not safe for mothers and babies in a lot of ways, ones I’ve experienced personally. We lead the nation in preterm birth rates, something I became intimately familiar with when my son was born in 2021. I had a routine, healthy pregnancy with no warning signs and then one day, before either of us were ready, I had a four pound baby who spent a few minutes on my chest before he was whisked away to spend weeks in the NICU. 

During those sixteen days I went over it again and again. What did I do wrong? How could this have happened? Two years later while pregnant with my daughter, I struggled to avoid another preterm delivery but made it to thirty-seven weeks thanks to an extended hospital stay and a lot of medical care.  I have other friends and acquaintances in my neighborhood who have also delivered early. Now that our kids are happy, healthy toddlers we joke: Is it this place?