Mississippi Transplant: Aimee Nezhukumatathil
"Home is not just a place, it's people. It's a scent. It's what you can grow in a garden and what you can grow in your community."
What does it mean to call Mississippi home? Why do people choose to leave or live in this weird, wonderful, and sometimes infuriating place? Aimee Nezhukumatathil and her family moved to Oxford in 2017, thinking it would be a temporary home, but they soon fell in love with the college town. Seven years in, Aimee has become rooted within her community and the natural world of northern Mississippi. Aimee’s newest collection of essays, Bite by Bite: Nourishments & Jamborees (our August book club pick!), is as much a meditation on place and home as it is on food. She writes: “After chasing that word all my life I've come to realize as I near a landmark decade that the word ‘home’ is a shapeshifter. And there can be multiple homes that you hold in your heart.” Today she shares with us how Mississippi has come to feel like home for her.
Where are you from?
Born in Chicago, but lived in rural parts of Western New York, Kansas, Iowa, and the suburbs of Dayton, Ohio, and Phoenix, Arizona.
When did you move to Mississippi and why did you move here?
In 2017, I was invited to be the John and Renee Grisham Writer-in-Residence at the University of Mississippi. My husband and I were both English professors and had been dealing with an English department in Western New York where the majority of members were extremely backward and racist, so we thought it would be a refreshing change of scenery for nine months. But I can clearly remember less than one month into our move to Oxford, and the whole family fell in love with this town and its people. The university was hiring a poet that year and I threw my hat into the ring. When they called to tell me the news I got the position, I cried joyful tears. This is where I wanted to build and be in community and be outdoors. We sold our house in New York and moved the whole family down here that summer.
As someone who writes about and loves to be outdoors and whose family are athletes, being outdoors most months here is something we never take for granted…
What does “home” mean to you? How does Mississippi fit into that definition?
Home is not just a place, it's people. It's a scent. It's what you can grow in a garden and what you can grow in your community. After chasing that word all my life I've come to realize as I near a landmark decade that the word “home” is a shapeshifter. And there can be multiple homes that you hold in your heart.
What do you miss most about the place where you’re from?
Because I hold many places for that answer so fondly, it's impossible to answer that in a questionnaire, but rather it's a question that perfumes all the books I've written and will write in the future, and I’ll spend the rest of my life answering that question with gladness, not sorrow.
How have you cultivated community in Mississippi? Who are the people who have made you feel rooted here?
My brilliant colleagues and the people in this town (and there are many) who love books. I’ve also loved spending time with people who have nothing to do with academia, including my birding and community garden pals here, and writers and photographers and painters and chefs and the bounty of good folks who make and raise delicious fresh goods at our Oxford Community Market, too.
I knew that a few acclaimed writers lived here, but sheepishly I didn’t know how MANY talented writers live in Mississippi and how much books are truly valued in this state.
What’s the weirdest question or assumption you’ve encountered about Mississippi (or about you as a Mississippian) by someone who’s never been here?
That there are racists on every corner (with the assumption that there aren’t any in the north). My husband is from Kansas and we LEFT the smallest minded folk we’d ever encountered in New York State, of all places, to live here.
How has living in Mississippi affected your identity and your life’s path?
As someone who writes about and loves to be outdoors and whose family are athletes, being outdoors most months here is something we never take for granted after living in icier climes. I get to move my body and work and garden more outdoors here and all of that has enhanced and augmented how much we value that in our lives.
What is something that you’ve learned about Mississippi only by living here? In what ways has Mississippi lived up to your expectations?
I knew that a few acclaimed writers lived here, but sheepishly I didn’t know how MANY talented writers live in Mississippi and how much books are truly valued in this state. And I am still struck on a daily basis, no joke, about the sheer physical beauty of this landscape. The green and bloom of summertime and mid-summer tomato sandwiches. Everything fecund and bright. It’s so easy to grow things here and I didn’t know how much I needed to hear (and continue to help cultivate in my neighborhood) birdsong and be near big, bold, and old trees.
Home is not just a place, it's people. It's a scent. It's what you can grow in a garden and what you can grow in your community.
Have you ever thought about moving away? Does a sense of duty keep you rooted here? Do you have a “tipping point”?
I can’t say what the future holds as our two sons figure out their college plans in the next few years, but home for me will be anywhere my family feels like it can thrive both indoors and outdoors, and where my husband and I feel useful as mentors for young writers in the classroom and as naturalists, too.
What do you wish the rest of the country understood about Mississippi?
Saying this state has a complicated past is the biggest understatement. Like, duh. I think some people forget that this whole country has origin stories in every state that are violent and unkind. Mississippi has a particular one whose effects I still see every day. And while that is true, I’m heartened to read about the brave fighters and organizers who led and paved the way for the rest of the nation in so many ways. And today, there are SO many people here, like this town is full of them, who believe in caring for each other, who want a world where difference isn’t feared or tamped out. Who believe in education and the arts are necessary for a community to thrive, not just survive.
Do you have a favorite Mississippi writer, artist, or musician who you think everyone needs to know about?
I don’t want to choose just one because northern Mississippi is full of creatives (and many are our frequent dinner party guests), but three that capture all that is good about why I am here is 1) the photographer and writer, Erin Austen Abbott. She champions small-town living and finds beauty and delight everywhere she goes. You know how you just see/feel good when you talk with such a golden-hearted person? That’s Erin. She has a new book coming soon this fall that should be on every coffee table in Small Town Living (with an introduction from Erin Napier!). 2) Nadia Alexis, a supremely talented photographer and poet who has her debut book coming soon. And she is a beloved teacher at Mississippi School of the Arts. 3) One of the hardest working creative librarians I know (and I know a TON): Meridith Wulff, who is Head Librarian at Lafayette County and Oxford Public Library. From the first year I was here, I’ve been in awe of how much she gets people of all ages to fall in love with books. I always say libraries and bookstores are the beating hearts of a community, and with her at the helm, we have such a strong heartbeat here in north Mississippi.
If you had one billion dollars to invest in Mississippi, how would you spend your money?
I've been a die-hard college football fan since I was a teenager, and even so, I can’t help but be appalled that in any college town there is anyone who goes to bed hungry or who can’t afford healthcare or a safe place to live, especially when I see the full glorious! fun! and yes, slightly obnoxious display of "football Saturdays." You can love a thing and also offer suggestions because you love it, right? I adore (and participate in!) the school spirit, the fanfare, and losing your voice in a stadium full of cheering fans. But, also, it puts into sharp relief where priorities seem to be misplaced.
Once shelter, food, and access to medicine and mental healthcare is taken care of (oh gosh, what a dreamy daydream, no?!) my hope is I’d make sure there were healthy and free school lunches, and invest in arts education at all levels, from preschool to senior citizens. It should be part of school curriculum that everyone graduates with multiple years of at least one art under their belt (painting, a musical instrument, dance, theatre, etc.). If there was anything left over I’d give it over to more effective and frequent public transportation and have us be less reliant on cars. And no one would use styrofoam or single-use plastics at any football game again. And since we’re dreaming big: every town would have a community garden where people could learn to take care of a garden, for free, and for extra fun for our bodies: a roller rink—with a retractable roof for when it rains!
Birdsong, flowers, fresh vegetables—I’m in awe over so much bounty here in this beautiful state. Experiencing all these things (and having the time to do so) should not be a “privilege” but rather the norm.
What or who do you want to shamelessly promote? (It can absolutely be a project you’re working on, or something you are involved in.)
Oxford Community Gardens and Delta Wind Birds: both groups help people see the wonder and beauty of this state and, more than that, help us feel connected (and thus, invested) in protecting and celebrating our lush and lovely green (and blue and brown and pink and orange!) outdoor landscapes. I think the more we are not staring at a screen, the healthier our relationships with each other will be. Birdsong, flowers, fresh vegetables—I’m in awe over so much bounty here in this beautiful state. Experiencing all these things (and having the time to do so) should not be a “privilege” but rather the norm. Let’s see how we can make that happen for ourselves. For each other.
I loved your article and I’m delighted you love our state. What a wonderfully welcomed addition you are!
I love your books, I love your enthusiasm, and I love your love of Mississippi!